NOTE: This post may seem rather long, but it really serves as a way for me to process what I’ve been thinking all this week. Maybe you’ll learn a little more about Brittany and a little more about me in the process. In a strange way, as I read over it, that’s a great way to look at it. There are people who come into our lives who make an impact in who we are, Brittany and her family played a part in mine.
I lost an old friend this week, some of you may have heard me talk about Brittany. I met Brittany when she was 14 and I was 15. It’s amazing that ten years have gone by since we’ve worked together and with each passing day, my memory starts to fade in that time of my life. But isn’t it amazing that when you really work your mind, those memories start creeping back?
As you’ve probably read in one of my older posts, Donatos was my first "real" job (you can read that post here). For some reason, I had my heart set on working at Target across the street. But Tonya, the assistant manager at Donatos, had something about her that just made me want to work at Donatos.
I have a firm belief that God works in all things. Perhaps He had a reason for me to work at Donatos and not Target. The crazy thing is that in each stage of my life, there have been people in my life who have made a significant difference and were always there when I needed them. I am so thankful that God brought me to that first job, we were family, and I LOVED it.
I told Brittany’s mom, Kathy, that I had some fun memories of Brittany and I, but that biggest thing that stood out was how well she loved me. Since Brittany and I were the youngest on the crew, we almost always worked together. Sometimes we would both work the front counter together, sometimes she’d work the front while I worked the drive-thru, other times we would clean the dining room together, or just hang out in the party room folding pizza boxes.
Some of my most favorite memories are the times when it was slow and we’d go out back, she’d smoke a cigarette and we would just sit there and talk. It was like a family affair at Donatos because Brittany, her mom, brother, and sister-in-law all worked there and they made me feel like I was part of the family.
I remember the early morning staff meetings where we’d meet in the party room, watch training videos, and Britt would sit on my lap as we’d watch them. I remember the slow times where we would talk about anything and everything while cleaning the dining room. I remember how excited she’d get about her little niece. I remember how much she hated anchovies, and after making a pizza with anchovies, I’d wipe the slime off on her shirt (yes, I was such a gentleman back then). I remember working on Christmas Eve and I brought in my CD player and she’d sing along. I’d remember us running over to Wendy’s to do a food-swap with the employees and bringing back our dinner and sitting back in the prep room with the staff hanging out. I remember the times we had to come in early and remove the conveyor belt from the oven and clean it. I remember the times she’d have me grab something from the walk-in refrigerator and lock me in.
But the biggest memory of my time at Donatos came at a painful time in my life. It was a beautiful day, I even think it was the last day of school. My mom had picked me up from school and as we sat at the stoplight in front of North Central she said, "Kiel, I’m moving to Florida." Okay…. "When?" I asked. "Tomorrow."
I tried to stay strong for my mom, but as soon as we got home, I walked on the Monon Trail straight to Donatos. I walked in the front door, through the kitchen, out the back door and just started crying my eyes out. I walked back in, found Brittany’s mom, Kathy, and just started crying in her arms. Brittany was there to console me too.
That summer was one of difficulty, but one where I felt loved. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had developed an anxiety/panic attack disorder. There would be moments when I’d feel a rush fly over my body and I’d feel the need to go throw-up in the bathroom. I had originally thought it was an allergic reaction to the ingredients and I decided that it was time for me to move on from Donatos.
After moving across the street to Marsh, I slowly began to lose touch with Brittany and Kathy. They’d occasionally come by the store to shop and I’d occasionally go to Donatos to see them. But you know how life is, we drifted apart. At first I wouldn’t see them for weeks, then months, and then years… ten years in fact.
Over the past few years I had been trying to reconnect with Brittany, looking for her on MySpace and Facebook. She never really was into those type of things, but I had a hope that someday she might want to reconnect with old friends and create a profile.
About a week-and-a-half ago I finally found her on MySpace. She hadn’t logged on in a while, but I thought if I sent her a message through the system, that they would notify her through e-mail. I thought to myself, "Hey God, maybe this is a great chance to reconnect and be a part of each other’s lives again!"
But I was disheartened on Wednesday when I logged into MySpace to see that she still hadn’t read my message. I had moved on to my other tasks of the day and eventually made my way to the obituaries on The Indianapolis Star web site. As my eyes scrolled through the names, one stood out… it was hers.
I was in disbelief, shock. I read through the obituary time and again, but there was her mother’s name, and her brother’s name. My friend, who I really wanted to see, had passed away that Sunday.
It was a little difficult for me to walk into the funeral home and see her mom, who had been like a mother to me when I worked at Donatos. But when our eyes met, we immediately recognized each other and I embraced her in an all-familiar hug. It turns out that all these years that we’ve been apart, we’ve been wondering about each other. Brittany had been wondering what I had been up to, as did Kathy. Even in the hustle and bustle of the past 10 years, I had still wondered about them.
I’m going to miss my friend Brittany and I continue to pray for her mother, Kathy. As I sat through the funeral they read 1 Corinthians 13. One word that stuck out to me during the whole funeral was the word "love." Brittany had shown me love, Kathy had shown me love, and I hope that my presence there let Kathy know that I love her very much. She has a special place in my heart.
I say all that to say this, never stop loving people. I know I talked a little bit about myself in this post, but that’s because in the midst of what I was going through, Brittany and her mother were loving me through it all. If you’re a Christian, you are commanded to love others, even more so than you are to love yourself. If you’re not a Christian, loving someone could make a tremendous impact on someone else’s life. They may not remember a whole lot about you in the years that pass, but they will remember how well you loved.
So with that, I am so thankful for the love that Brittany has shown me and I hope that Kathy knows that I will be there when she needs me… just like she was there when I needed her. I thank God for allowing Brittany to be a part of my life.
As the dust began to settle, we began seeing the results. The blog we set-up received thousands of hits that day, our church web site received 15x the normal amount of traffic, the free e-mail account we set-up with Gmail was filled with thousands of e-mails and actually locked up because over twelve of us were in there trying to process all of them!
It was a hectic day, but it did show us just how many people cared. Some were willing to give temporary homes, some were wanting to adopt, others were wanting to offer donations of clothing and other items. It amazed me the generosity of our people and their friends who received a forwarded copy of the e-mail (or heard about it on Facebook or Twitter).
Now it is indefinite as to when the Haitian orphans will arrive (if at all, although we are seeing some released little by little), but the work doesn’t stop there. Our friends at Safe Families have been busy going through all the e-mails we received, lining up qualified applicants should the need arise for temporary housing or adoption, they’re amazing.
Can I tell you something else amazing that happened? Last weekend our pastor scrapped his sermon and focused purely on Haiti. Here’s a video of him interviewing his son Barry and Curtis from our Outreach team as they talk about their recent experience in Haiti…
Dave talked about the realities of what’s going on Haiti, how we’re going to have to continue to support Haiti long after the media stops covering it, because the effect of that earthquake will be felt for years. And one of the biggest things he did was bring a challenge to the congregation to raise money for Haiti.
The money we raised is to be distributed to two of our partners, Nehemiah Vision Ministries and Kids Against Hunger. One of the challenges Dave gave was that if we raised $40,000, Kids Against Hunger would set-up a food-packing operation in our gym. This would mean putting together food packages that would help feed a family of six (or even just six people) for an entire day and provide all the essential nutrients.
We got calls throughout the week, "did we reach our goal of $40,000?" Little do people know Dave. Our goal was never to raise $40,000, we only wanted people to know what we would be able to do through their generosity.
The final total collected to help Haiti? I believe it was over $220,000.
We don’t throw that number around to brag. Considering all the work that has to be done in the aftermath of this earthquake, that is only a start. And the food-packing that we’re doing for Kids Against Hunger? All 400 volunteer slots were filled within an hour of being available to sign-up and these volunteers will be packing over 200,000 packages of food. The response was so great that we’re trying to coordinate more times for Kids Against Hunger to come to Grace so we can pack more food.
Last week, considering how much work we put into it and our hopes being dashed at not receiving orphans, I was greatly encouraged by our church’s response. And I’m not talking about the response from Dave, I’m talking about from the people who we asked to "step up" and put "Plan A" into action. It is my personal hope, as someone who’s about to graduate with a degree in Pastoral Ministry, that last week stirred the hearts of our congregation. That they would not only remember Haiti, but think about the issues of social justice all over the world and do something about it!
When we first got the call about the orphans, those of us who were there at the onslaught of news knew that God was definitely up to something. Only time will tell what effect the Church’s response (the entire body of Christ, not just Grace) has on Haiti. In the meantime, I know that some people had their heart stirred by the efforts of Safe Families and have offered to open up their homes to kids who need temporary homes. This past week has truly shown me that when we’re open to the Holy Spirit, He’s going to work through God’s people. And Grace Community Church really stepped up to the plate, along with various churches around the world.
When I worshipped this weekend, I looked around at all the faces in the auditorium, filled with an immense pride to be able to serve and serve alongside the wonderful families of Grace.
"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
Many of you are well aware of what’s happened in Haiti, almost two weeks ago, an earthquake shook the country to it’s core. I don’t know the exact number of the dead, but I read a story that they buried over 150,000 just the other day. It seems like for most of us, we didn’t pay much attention to Haiti prior to this, I was one of those.
Yet the effect of this earthquake really hit home last Tuesday. I had finished my night class and walked into my friend’s house, to see all of my friends on their phones calling various people. I was confused.
"Hello, this is Stephanie calling from Safe Families, we kind of have a unique situation here…"
As I got up-to-speed, I found out that the Department of Child Services (DCS) had contacted Safe Families’ regional office in Chicago asking them to prepare for 300 Haitian orphans who could be arriving in the next couple of days. I was immediately recruited to start calling people, so I looked through the database and called people I knew.
I can tell you that what we were asking was not an easy thing to ask. Take in a child coming off a plane with little more than their sandals and underwear, many infested with lice and ringworm, only speaking Creole? What fascinated me in that moment were the answers I received, "yes, we’ll take them!" As we finished going through the whole database of people, I had to step out on the back porch to grasp the reality of what was really happening. It struck home that these are children, God’s children, who had lost their families and were looking to be transported to a country they knew nothing about. I could only weep for them (I’m an emotional dude, it happens) and I was reminded of my prayer earlier in the week, "break my heart for what breaks yours," yup, my heart was broken for these kids.
Since our church partners with Safe Families, they had asked us what we could do to assist. Our pastor, Dave Rodriguez, decided to send out an e-mail to our Grace family to let them know of the need… little did we know what this would bring. I came into work with Safe Families and our Outreach team setting up a "command post" in the conference room we affectionately call the "War Room." My friend Steph had gotten two hours of sleep and hadn’t eaten all morning, we had three people answering phones, and e-mails were coming into the e-mail address we set-up at over eight e-mails per minute.
By mid-afternoon, the DCS had denied any such report that any orphans were on their way to Indiana, even though we had written proof. It was a whirlwind day of emotions: we were tired, emotionally exhausted, hearts were broken. But the story doesn’t end there…
We had a wonderful service this weekend at Grace and I’m so glad that I didn’t miss it (I had overslept, showed up late).
We talked a great deal about what’s going on in Haiti. My mind is still processing through everything that’s going on over there, while wondering how the church and the rest of the world will respond.
Anyway, at the end of the service, we showed a music video by the musical group, The Elms. The song is called "This Is How The World Will End" and I had originally heard it months ago when Starbucks was handing out cards with a free download of the song (to promote building water wells in Africa). It wasn’t until I saw the music video today with the lyrics on the screen, that I truly got the point of the song. I think you know what I mean, when you spent months upon months singing a song because it sounds good, yet you never take time to really listen to the lyrics.
The footage in the music video below was taken by Luke Renner, who is an Indiana-native and was in Haiti when the earthquake hit. Since then, he’s been taking footage almost non-stop and updating his Twitter account with updates (the footage in the video is before the earthquake hit). I’d challenge you to watch the video twice. First, just listen to the song and take in the pictures. The second time, read the lyrics. It’s amazing.
This Is How the World Will End
The Elms
When the dollar made with blood is spent,
When an enemy can’t become a friend.
When the better man won’t lend a hand,
Baby, this is how the world will end.
When a day of hope is a rarity,
Or a diplomat hasn’t time to see
That a child lost is a true offense,
Baby, this is how the world will end.
Bring a chair up to the table.
Bring a message to the crowd.
Where’s a common trust to deliver us from the wretched and the proud?
Sing a tune about the promise.
Speak on that which we depend.
And if a certain light don’t shine again,
Baby, this is how the world will end.
When the poorest kid is fending for himself,
Or the widow cries, but she gets no help.
When we know what’s true, but we still pretend,
Baby, this is how the world will end.
Bring a chair up to the table.
Bring a message to the crowd.
Where’s a common trust to deliver us from the wretched and the proud?
Sing a tune about the promise.
Speak on that which we depend.
Now let that certain light come shinin’ then,
Baby, we could change the world again.
Last year I wrote a blog entry at Christmas called, "From a Thankful Heart" that focused on all the people that God used in the past year. That list of people has remain relatively unchanged, although God has brought (and continues to bring) new people into my life. But today, I want to focus on a special group of friends that I mentioned last year, but I didn’t expound upon.
The group of friends I’m referring to would be "The Six Pack," aptly named by Faith’s Nan because there are six of us. As I look back, it amazes me how much we’ve done together and how most of us had crossed each other’s paths prior to forming this friendship. I’d like to take a moment to tell you briefly about each of them and what I’ve learned from them. So here they are, in no particular order… ladies first, of course…
I met Stephanie many years ago at a program we both volunteered for called Y-Press, I even crossed her path a few times recognizing her when she worked at Blockbuster in Westfield. But we didn’t truly become friends until a couple of years ago. In fact, I think it was either her or Betsy that invited me to an Indians game where I really got to know Chad… I don’t know whether to thank her for this privilege or shun her. Ha ha! Just kidding!
I think that I love Steph because in many ways she reminds me of me: always working to please the people she loves, having great conversations over a cuppa chai, always thoughtful of her own thoughts and actions (as well as that of others), and always striving to be a better person than she was the day before.
Stephanie, you are truly a great friend and I am so blessed to have you in my life (even in your excitable "Stephie Lu" moments). Ha ha!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Stephanie, it’s to be more intentional about listening to others, to be a good listener, and to encourage others. I’m not perfect, but I’m glad I have her as an example.
Betsy crossed my path a few years ago when I was an intern at Grace and she came to a small group gathering with our friend Amanda. With the dynamics of the small group, I wasn’t quite sure if lil’ Miss Betsy would stick around, but she did and I am so thankful.
I think the thing I love most about Betsy is her energy and the ability to make all of us smile so much. Betsy has such a great spirit and I think that shows greatly when we go places and there’s always SOMEONE that knows her. In other realms, I’ve seen a lot of competitive challenges thrown at her by Chad and Andrew and she is able to dish it right back.
Betsy, I was tempted to name you "Sporty Spice" because you add such a flavor to the group that nobody else can. You know that I get excited everytime I see you and I hope you know it’s because of the joy you bring into all of our lives!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Betsy, it’s to soak in all of life’s blessings and show love to others. When I see Betsy’s face light up when she sees a special needs child, it reminds me of how we are to love others.
Faith and I had crossed paths a couple of times since we both attend Grace, but I didn’t really get to know her until we all started hanging out as a group. I got to tell you, that she may seem shy, but when she opens up, you’d better watch out!
The thing I love most about Faith is her fun and caring spirit. I called her the compassionate one because I get to hear about all the fun (and loads of work) she has with her students. When she talks about them, you can tell she cares. When you talk to her students, you know that they love her. Some things you must know about her: she has a slight addiction to Burt’s Bees chapstick, she often talks to herself in the third person, does pretty good impersonations of her students, and she is a master at defeating Chad’s insults.
Faith, you are truly one-of-a-kind and such a fun dynamic to the group. I’ve learned a lot from you and so thankful for the times I’ve gotten to spend with you and your family. You are truly a blessing and it shows… even in your "special" moments.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Faith… hmmm, this is difficult… but I think the biggest thing I’ve learned from her is the importance of family. That girl is truly herself when she’s around them and that is truly awesome.
I met Andrew when he first moved to town. I didn’t know what to think of him then and it took me a while in the first stages of our friendship to truly "get" Andrew.
The thing I love most about Andrew is how he can go from being completely boyish to completely mature with a flip of the switch. I don’t mean this in a bad way, no. I think he strikes a good balance of knowing how to stay young, while not forgetting that life includes serious moments that require great insight. And when you see Andrew at his most "boyish," you would think that there wasn’t a serious side… but alas, there is… and he can be very deep.
Andrew, you are truly a piece of work. But I see how hard you work to make sure we have fun as a group, but are there to have many introspective moments as well. I wasn’t sure what to think of you at first, but you’ve shown just how great of a guy you are and I’m honored to call you "friend."
The thing I’ve learned most from Andrew is that it’s okay to be crazy once in a while. But in all seriousness, Andrew is incredibly smart and at times I’m always wanting to learn more on various topics just to keep up with him.
As I mentioned earlier when talking about Steph, I think I really came to know Chad when we went to an Indians game a couple of years ago, it’s been a journey ever since.
The thing I love most about Chad is the "b.s." he brings to the group. I don’t mean this in a bad way, but as you know, Chad does have his "b.s." moments (and the accompanying voice) that make us laugh incredibly hard. He dishes it out and is able to take it back so well. In a way, he can be like Andrew… able to have plenty of fun, but also able to be incredibly insightful. As a writer, I find it kind of hard to define who Chad is… since his personality is indescribable.
Chad, I am so glad to call you friend. I enjoyed the times you lived nearby and we’d go workout at the Monon Center together, watching you "propose" to girls even though you said you’d stopped doing it, seeing you happily dance around the room when we celebrated your first new house, and I love how you’ve made Stephanie into your personal assistant. And don’t lie, she helps you out a lot, and I think it’s hilarious. Ha ha! You (and I) are so lucky to have a friend like Steph!
The thing I’ve learned most from Chad is to have goals and work towards them. It’s not my greatest strength, but despite all the "b.s." he dishes out, he seems to have a pretty good head on his shoulders. Ha ha!
I lost an old friend this week, some of you may have heard me talk about Brittany. I met Brittany when she was 14 and I was 15. It’s amazing that ten years have gone by since we’ve worked together and with each passing day, my memory starts to fade in that time of my life. But isn’t it amazing that when you really work your mind, those memories start creeping back?
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I met Stephanie many years ago at a program we both volunteered for called Y-Press, I even crossed her path a few times recognizing her when she worked at Blockbuster in Westfield. But we didn’t truly become friends until a couple of years ago. In fact, I think it was either her or Betsy that invited me to an Indians game where I really got to know Chad… I don’t know whether to thank her for this privilege or shun her. Ha ha! Just kidding!
Betsy crossed my path a few years ago when I was an intern at Grace and she came to a small group gathering with our friend Amanda. With the dynamics of the small group, I wasn’t quite sure if lil’ Miss Betsy would stick around, but she did and I am so thankful.
Faith and I had crossed paths a couple of times since we both attend Grace, but I didn’t really get to know her until we all started hanging out as a group. I got to tell you, that she may seem shy, but when she opens up, you’d better watch out!
I met Andrew when he first moved to town. I didn’t know what to think of him then and it took me a while in the first stages of our friendship to truly "get" Andrew.
As I mentioned earlier when talking about Steph, I think I really came to know Chad when we went to an Indians game a couple of years ago, it’s been a journey ever since.