Wrestling With a God Who Is Mighty To Save

It’s been hard for me to confess this, but I will. I had been burnt out in my walk with God for the past year.

When I first started going to church, you couldn’t keep me away. I would even sit up front, right next to the pastor. I was so interested in it that I felt called to go into ministry, so I started going to Bible college.

After I broke up with my girlfriend over a year and a half ago, I stopped going to church all the time. I was working at the church five days a week, going to school part-time, and attending my college group on Thursday nights. I had convinced myself that my college group on Thursday nights was “good enough,” but I soon realized I was going there primarily for the friendships and the teaching was secondary (sorry David!).

I was burnt out. I was tired of school and that hatred towards school rolled over into my spiritual life… and it’s extremely sad. After all, shouldn’t going to a Bible college be spiritually fulfilling? Well, I believe it should and I know that it’s not completely the school’s fault. Most of the blame lies with me.

So what have I done to reverse this trend? For one thing, I took a leave of absence from school. I could lie and tell you that this was a hard decision to make, but it was actually one of the easiest. I knew that if I didn’t take time off to take care of myself, that I would sink further into cynicism and farther away from God. In fact, even though I was in a spiritual “funk,” I still spent lots of time on my knees praying to God, crying out to God, searching for direction.

I don’t intend for this time-off to be “lazy time.” I am trying some new things to occupy my time: I’ll be participating in the Carmel Citizen’s Police Academy on Mondays, volunteering at Shepherd Community on Tuesdays, going to college group on Thursdays. I’ll also be reading the Bible and other books, writing, photographing, and traveling more.

Perhaps one of the greatest things that has helped me is attending weekend services. Fortunately, I have found a group of friends who are more than willing to go on Saturday nights with me! I even won Chad over as a Saturday convert when Grace bumped up the Sunday service time from 10:45 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. Apparently fifteen minutes is a big enough gap of time for Chad to swear off going on Sunday and to start attending on Saturday.

The past five weeks have been amazing for me, mostly because of the worship. There were times when I would read the lyrics on the screen and would choke up, unable to sing because the words spoke to me in that moment. This week, it was Hillsong United’s “Mighty to Save.”

As I’ve wrestled with God over this past year, one thing still remains the same, our God is mighty to save. And I thank Him everyday for his unconditional love, patience, mercy, and grace.

I know God is working in me and I’m so thankful that I’m getting out of this spiritual “funk” I’ve been in for the past year. Thank you Lord, thank you for being so faithful!

As I finish this post, I just want to leave with you a video of the song “Mighty to Save” and I hope that it serves as an encouragement to all of you.

“And I am certain that God,who began the good work within you,

will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

- Philippians 1:6