Goodbye, My Old Friend

NOTE: This post may seem rather long, but it really serves as a way for me to process what I’ve been thinking all this week. Maybe you’ll learn a little more about Brittany and a little more about me in the process. In a strange way, as I read over it, that’s a great way to look at it. There are people who come into our lives who make an impact in who we are, Brittany and her family played a part in mine.

I lost an old friend this week, some of you may have heard me talk about Brittany. I met Brittany when she was 14 and I was 15. It’s amazing that ten years have gone by since we’ve worked together and with each passing day, my memory starts to fade in that time of my life. But isn’t it amazing that when you really work your mind, those memories start creeping back?

As you’ve probably read in one of my older posts, Donatos was my first "real" job (you can read that post here). For some reason, I had my heart set on working at Target across the street. But Tonya, the assistant manager at Donatos, had something about her that just made me want to work at Donatos.

I have a firm belief that God works in all things. Perhaps He had a reason for me to work at Donatos and not Target. The crazy thing is that in each stage of my life, there have been people in my life who have made a significant difference and were always there when I needed them. I am so thankful that God brought me to that first job, we were family, and I LOVED it.

I told Brittany’s mom, Kathy, that I had some fun memories of Brittany and I, but that biggest thing that stood out was how well she loved me. Since Brittany and I were the youngest on the crew, we almost always worked together. Sometimes we would both work the front counter together, sometimes she’d work the front while I worked the drive-thru, other times we would clean the dining room together, or just hang out in the party room folding pizza boxes.

Some of my most favorite memories are the times when it was slow and we’d go out back, she’d smoke a cigarette and we would just sit there and talk. It was like a family affair at Donatos because Brittany, her mom, brother, and sister-in-law all worked there and they made me feel like I was part of the family.

I remember the early morning staff meetings where we’d meet in the party room, watch training videos, and Britt would sit on my lap as we’d watch them. I remember the slow times where we would talk about anything and everything while cleaning the dining room. I remember how excited she’d get about her little niece. I remember how much she hated anchovies, and after making a pizza with anchovies, I’d wipe the slime off on her shirt (yes, I was such a gentleman back then). I remember working on Christmas Eve and I brought in my CD player and she’d sing along. I’d remember us running over to Wendy’s to do a food-swap with the employees and bringing back our dinner and sitting back in the prep room with the staff hanging out. I remember the times we had to come in early and remove the conveyor belt from the oven and clean it. I remember the times she’d have me grab something from the walk-in refrigerator and lock me in.

But the biggest memory of my time at Donatos came at a painful time in my life. It was a beautiful day, I even think it was the last day of school. My mom had picked me up from school and as we sat at the stoplight in front of North Central she said, "Kiel, I’m moving to Florida." Okay…. "When?" I asked. "Tomorrow."

I tried to stay strong for my mom, but as soon as we got home, I walked on the Monon Trail straight to Donatos. I walked in the front door, through the kitchen, out the back door and just started crying my eyes out. I walked back in, found Brittany’s mom, Kathy, and just started crying in her arms. Brittany was there to console me too.

That summer was one of difficulty, but one where I felt loved. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had developed an anxiety/panic attack disorder. There would be moments when I’d feel a rush fly over my body and I’d feel the need to go throw-up in the bathroom. I had originally thought it was an allergic reaction to the ingredients and I decided that it was time for me to move on from Donatos.

After moving across the street to Marsh, I slowly began to lose touch with Brittany and Kathy. They’d occasionally come by the store to shop and I’d occasionally go to Donatos to see them. But you know how life is, we drifted apart. At first I wouldn’t see them for weeks, then months, and then years… ten years in fact.

Over the past few years I had been trying to reconnect with Brittany, looking for her on MySpace and Facebook. She never really was into those type of things, but I had a hope that someday she might want to reconnect with old friends and create a profile.

About a week-and-a-half ago I finally found her on MySpace. She hadn’t logged on in a while, but I thought if I sent her a message through the system, that they would notify her through e-mail. I thought to myself, "Hey God, maybe this is a great chance to reconnect and be a part of each other’s lives again!"

But I was disheartened on Wednesday when I logged into MySpace to see that she still hadn’t read my message. I had moved on to my other tasks of the day and eventually made my way to the obituaries on The Indianapolis Star web site. As my eyes scrolled through the names, one stood out… it was hers.

I was in disbelief, shock. I read through the obituary time and again, but there was her mother’s name, and her brother’s name. My friend, who I really wanted to see, had passed away that Sunday.

It was a little difficult for me to walk into the funeral home and see her mom, who had been like a mother to me when I worked at Donatos. But when our eyes met, we immediately recognized each other and I embraced her in an all-familiar hug. It turns out that all these years that we’ve been apart, we’ve been wondering about each other. Brittany had been wondering what I had been up to, as did Kathy. Even in the hustle and bustle of the past 10 years, I had still wondered about them.

I’m going to miss my friend Brittany and I continue to pray for her mother, Kathy. As I sat through the funeral they read 1 Corinthians 13. One word that stuck out to me during the whole funeral was the word "love." Brittany had shown me love, Kathy had shown me love, and I hope that my presence there let Kathy know that I love her very much. She has a special place in my heart.

I say all that to say this, never stop loving people. I know I talked a little bit about myself in this post, but that’s because in the midst of what I was going through, Brittany and her mother were loving me through it all. If you’re a Christian, you are commanded to love others, even more so than you are to love yourself. If you’re not a Christian, loving someone could make a tremendous impact on someone else’s life. They may not remember a whole lot about you in the years that pass, but they will remember how well you loved.

So with that, I am so thankful for the love that Brittany has shown me and I hope that Kathy knows that I will be there when she needs me… just like she was there when I needed her. I thank God for allowing Brittany to be a part of my life.