Standing Behind What You Write (and Say)

Opinion columns, cable TV news pundits, talk radio, blogs, Facebook… we’ve become a society of voicing our opinions.

We’ve become a society of voicing our opinions no matter how right, wrong, or ignorant we are. At the same, no matter how disgusted I get at some of the comments and lack of civility, I’m reminded of what Voltaire once said:

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

But I think somewhere along the line we’ve lost civility in our discourse. We’ve become a society that will post things, even anonymously, without thinking through the full impact of what we say… which brings me to today.

My friend/co-worker came to me today, showing me what someone had commented on her blog. Her blog post was very light-hearted, casting light on corny church signs. The comment she received, while well written, lacked a certain level of civility and was written by "Anonymous".

The first thing I had to learn in philosophy is not to take debates personally, it’s not you they’re debating, but the ideas that you are presenting. However, it can be hard not to take something personally when someone anonymously critisizes something you write. It’s like a phantom, anyone around could’ve written it and not knowing who it is can be bothersome. Wanting to know the identity of the anonymous writer is not to deconstruct that person based on who they are, but to put a face to what has been written.

Writing is probably one of the few ways you can be anonymous, which is why the internet has become as popular as it is. When people hide behind a screen name or "Anonymous," it lacks a certain credibility to me. What are you going to say online that you can’t say in person?

Growing up with three brothers, I learned the rule of, "say it to my face." Which simply meant, if I was going to talk smack (for lack of a better term), I should be prepared to say it to their face and be ready for the consequences should they not like what I had to say.

Needless to say, after several beatings, I learned the fine art of civil discourse. If I chose not to follow my mom’s advice of "if you have nothing to nice to say, don’t say it all," I had to phrase things in such a way that would get my point across. Am I right all the time? Heck no! In fact, I’ve been caught with my foot in my mouth many times. In maintaining my integrity, I admit it when I’m wrong… it’s not always easy, but it’s the right thing to do.

When we come to the table with varying opinions we’re not going to be right all the time, nor will we always see eye-to-eye with other people. But in order to maintain integrity and credibility, it’s important to stand behind what we write and say. If we can’t stand behind what we say, perhaps the best option is to be silent.

"Every man has a right to utter what he thinks truth, and every other man has a right to knock him down for it. Martyrdom is the test." – Samuel Johnson

Two Roads Diverged

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

This poem by Robert Frost has been resounding in my head over the past couple of months as I’ve come to another fork in the road. I feel like I must choose which way to go, even though the answer doesn’t always come easy.

Sometimes when I read this poem, I wonder if Frost thought about the signposts in our lives. Sometimes its not a fork in the road or a monumental decision to be made that determines our course. Sometimes certain people, circumstances, and situations are the signposts that take us off the path we’ve set out for ourselves onto the road less travelled.

I would argue with Frost that life isn’t two roads diverged in a yellow wood, but is more like a highway (yes, like the song). It has many off-ramps that will take you through winding country roads filled with beautiful trees in the fall, some dark unknown tunnels to drive through, majestic mountains where we can see for miles, beautiful scenic beaches along the way, and the occasional fender bender.

There have been years in my life where I had no direction on the highway of life, I was on cruise control. As funny as it sounds, I wouldn’t take back those moments for the world. How would I know true hope unless I experienced true hopelessness? How would I know joy unless I experienced pain? How would I know what it’s like to be successful unless I failed a couple of times along the way? All of these things have helped mold me into who I am and brought me to the place where I am at today.

A friend pointed me to a quote from the book Irresistible Revolution that says:

"… the more I read the scriptures, the more uncertain I became about my plans for the future, or even of the wisdom of making plans in the first place, since God seems to be in the business of messing them up… People started asking me what I was going to do when I graduated from college. People always want to define you by what you do. I started saying, ‘I’m not too concerned with what I am going to do. I am more interested in who I am becoming. I want to be a lover of God and people.’ I was convinced that what we do is not nearly as important as who we are."

I’ve come to realize that life is an awesome journey that can take you so many different places. Like this quote, I’ve come to realize that whether you believe in God or not, life has a funny way of messing up the plans we make. It reminds me of when I’ve gone flying with my friend Jake. You can set a course heading and aim for that heading, but the turbulence is always going to blow you around and take you off course if you’re not careful.

It’s important to have goals and work hard towards them, but don’t let them define you. Understand that life may have different plans for you than what you have for yourself. Don’t let what you do become more important than who you are.

As I approach this fork in the road, I no longer fear. I want to be known as someone who loves God and loves people, whatever job I have will always be secondary to that. But no matter which road I take I realize two things: God is with me, and with Him all things are possible… and that has made all the difference.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

Why I Write

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I write. Going through school, English was never my favorite subject because my teachers always got hung up on the rules of grammar. Whereas I wrote with my heart and knew that when I read something, that it just felt right.

Of course, this system isn’t fool-proof. I’ve read a lot of books and newspapers over my lifetime to be able to read something and know whether it’s grammatically correct. I’m not perfect, but the system of "it reads well" has worked through my entire college career.

There are very few things that cause me to "drift away" creatively: writing, playing the piano, and going for long drives. When I take long drives, I really reminisce and great ideas flow through my head. When I play the piano; when the music is committed to my memory, it seems like it flows right through me without any effort as it goes through my brain to the keys. Writing is almost the same way, I have these great thoughts that just go through my brain and tap away at the computer keys as I put into words what my brain is thinking.

And as I’ve thought about it, I’ve been processing, "why do I write?" Well, here are some reasons.

It’s Therapeutic
In the movie Finding Forrester, a great writer befriends a young man and helps him improve on his writing. The first thing he does is get Jamel, the main character, to start typing on the typewriter. As Jamel hesitates to type, Forrester speaks up:

"No thinking. That comes later. You write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is to write. Not to think."

For me, this is what makes writing therapeutic. The idea that I can allow my brain take over my fingers as they tap the keys. The ideas flow from my head to the keys and finally escape, now I have a visual view of my thoughts.

This is what makes it so therapeutic. Often times, in my case, I find that I have a lot of "junk" in my head. I have great ideas, but just like an old attic, occasionally there are some old things that need to be cleaned out. Getting all my thoughts out on paper allows me to visualize what my brain’s been thinking and allows me to have greater clarity.

It Challenges Me
Writing challenges me on so many levels, not because of grammar, but because it forces me to think. Often times we have what we think are great ideas in our head, but if we can’t verbally express those great ideas, how can they become a reality?

It’s like describing what you saw in a dream, have you ever tried to do that? It’s hard because that visual dream world lives inside your head and when asked to describe it, it’s difficult because you’ve never been challenged to describe it. When I think of this, I think of writers who imagine great worlds inside their head and those worlds are only able to come alive because they’re able to articulate what they saw in their head.

Not only that, but writing challenges me to back myself up with facts. There have been times where I’ve written opinion pieces and even though it’s just my opinion, that opinion carries more weight and substance when backed up with real facts. Writing challenges me, and others, because it causes us to fact check what we say or want to say.

Unfortunately there are people who write what they feel and don’t back themselves up, this is a true tragedy and will never cause them to grow as writers and thinkers.

It Allows People to See the World As I See It
I’ve always heard the saying, "two people can look at the same picture and see it totally different." I can totally relate. For me, writing (and to a greater extent, photography) allows me to share with others how I see the world. I don’t claim to always be right, but I believe that we can learn a lot from each other by seeing the world from the perspective of someone else.

It Can Stir Up Memories and Live Long After I’m Gone
I can’t claim that my writings will be around long after I’m gone, but it is possible. If I were to die tomorrow, you could get a pretty good idea of who I was just by reading my writings. And to a greater extent, the reason that I write and take pictures is so that I can remember things as my mind begins to fade.

It’s not that my memory is getting worse, but it seems that some of my older memories get archived to make room for new memories. The old memories seem to be unlocked by watching an old family video, looking through pictures, seeing an old friend, smelling something that reminds me of a past memory.

Writing for me is therapeutic now and hopefully will serve as a memory-jogger in the future.

Conclusion
So there you have it, some of the reasons why I write. Hopefully it might inspire you to start writing or to find another creative outlet to express yourself! Thanks for reading.

Kickin’ It With the Kids in the City

This week begins a crazy week for me. We’re preparing to launch the new Grace web site and I start classes on Wednesday morning. Fortunately I don’t have college group or small group anymore, which frees up my schedule, but I’m still beginning to feel overwhelmed.

Even in the midst of all this stuff going on, I am looking forward to helping out with girls club at Shepherd Community. I started volunteering this past winter with my friends as a way to serve God together, or better said, to serve with God together alongside my friends.

I could lie and tell you that it’s easy… and that I see the face of God in those children whenever I serve. But the truth is, sometimes it’s hard to picture Jesus when you’ve got a seven-year-old dressed up in a princess gown jumping at you screaming, "Save me Jesus! Save me Jesus!"

But it’s in my quiet time with God that I am reminded why we do what we do:

"Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." – Luke 18:15-17

I cannot tell you the many times we leave tired and exhausted. There are even times when we can’t get the girls to stop talking so we can do a lesson, apparently this is something women develop early in life. Ha ha!

But there is no greater reward than to sit in the cafeteria as the buses start to drop them off. The joy I get when I see some of my favorite kiddos get off the bus is indescribable. To have them jump in my arms and tell me about their day, or to sit on my lap while we do our lesson.. it’s priceless.

I remember one day when one of the girls ran into the cafeteria and jumped into Chad’s arms, excited to see him. She was holding her new Bible and was so excited to show it to Faith. Unfortunately, Faith wasn’t there that week, but I had my little camera and we sent her a video message. Every week this girl was so eager to get out her Bible and start reading, she’d get so excited about it! Honestly I don’t know how much of this "Bible knowledge" she’ll retain, in fact, I’m just stoked that her and the rest of the girls are developing their reading skills.

What’s most important to me is that these kids know that they’re loved by God. When I was their age, the most exposure I got to Jesus was through Vacation Bible School and occasionally going to Sunday school with my Grandma Hicks. I remember singing songs, though I can’t remember what they were. I remember playing with flannel graphs, though I don’t really recall the lesson. I also remember having some pretty sweet snacks during VBS, but once again, the only thing that really sticks out is Hi-C Orange Drink.

What I remember most though, through all those experiences, is how much the volunteers cared about me and made it such a wonderful experience. As these girls grow up, I don’t know if they’ll remember what we taught them or if they’ll remember our names. But hopefully what they will remember is that those people at Shepherd loved Jesus so much and loved them so much. And perhaps that may give them cause to learn for themselves who this Jesus guy really is.

–

If you’re interested in getting involved at Shepherd Community, the best way is to just give them a holler by filling out the contact form on their web site. Programs are starting to kick off for the year, so now is a great time to get plugged in. And just a free "advertisement" for our Outreach ministry at Grace, feel free to see them after weekend services and see if there’s a place you can serve with Jesus.

Serving, like anything else, takes discipline to tell yourself you’re going to do it. And while it takes a little bit of your time, you may find that you get a lot out of it, like I have.

Selfishness With God: The Prodigal Sons

On a whim today, I bought a book that I’ve been hearing great things about, The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller. I have to tell you, that after reading a third of it, that I am being rocked to my core.

Why? Because it strikes deep in the heart of what our motivations are with God. If you’ve known me long enough, you know that I’m someone who tries to get beyond the surface of problems and find the real root of the matter. It’s like a father who gets upset with his son, when in reality, there are pressures at work and he’s taking it out on the child. Getting upset with the son is the surface issue, the real root of the problem is what’s going on at work.

The reason The Prodigal God is rocking my core, is because it’s really making me look past the "surface" issues of my relationship with God and striking the root. If you’ve never heard the story of "The Prodigal Son," it talks about how this man has two sons. One son decides that he doesn’t want anything to do with the family and asks for his share of the inheritance (1/3 of his father’s properties) and goes off and squanders it on prostitutes and all sorts of non-kosher things. One day he realizes what he has done and wants to come back and work for his father to repay the inheritance he squandered. Finally he gathers up the courage to go back to his father and as the father sees his son over the hill, he goes running towards his son, forgives him, puts the best clothes on him, throws a big party.

What we’ve forgotten about here is the older brother, who’s been with the father all along. He’s the "good" one who has done everything right, played by the rules.

Can you guess where this is going? If you’ve ever grown up with siblings, you know that sometimes it can seem as if a parent is giving preferential treatment to one of the siblings, it doesn’t seem fair! And it doesn’t seem fair to the older brother that he’s stuck around all this time, done all the right things, and his younger brother gets to come back scot-free.

What struck me about this book and about the story of "The Prodigal Son" is that both sons had bad motives. The younger son decided to go his own way, embarrass the family, and lost his portion of the inheritance. But what we fail to forget is that the older brother is just as guilty. Why? Because his motives for doing all the "right things" were to look after his own interests, protecting the 2/3 inheritance that was his. Neither son really cared for their father, they just wanted the rewards that came from the inheritance.

Keller goes on to relate our relationship with God to the two sons. There are some who go off and break all the rules and bask in God’s grace when they come to repentance. Then there are those who do everything they can to not sin and do certain things to essentially earn brownie points with God. Why is this wrong? It’s wrong because their motivation for obeying God and doing certain things isn’t out of respect and reverence for God, but they use it like a rewards card. When things don’t go their way they come crying to God, "Why God? After all I’ve done for you, why would you let this happen?"

Do you see how selfish that is? They weren’t trying to please and serve God, they were doing it to serve their own selfish interests.

As I was processing this, Ephesians 2:8-9 came to mind, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."

Or to quote from The Message (a paraphrase), "Saving is all his [God's] idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing."

I was talking to my friend Faith the other day about how I had this radical change of mindset regarding work (this was prior to reading this book). I told her that I began to realize that I didn’t work for Grace Community Church, but that I worked for Jesus. To which she replied, "I like to think that I work with Jesus." Combined with what Ephesians 2:8-9 said, my viewpoint was changed. If I work for Jesus, that implies an employee/boss scenario and I’m working hard to keep my job.  BUT, if I work with Jesus, I can almost hear him saying, "Hey Kiel, here’s what I’m doing, let’s work on this together!" And I have to tell you, I’d rather work with Jesus than for Jesus. Do you see my point?

The parable and this book are causing me to re-think how I relate to Jesus. For example, instead of working with kids at Shepherd Community because I believe it will please God; I now work with kids at Shepherd and enjoy it because I know it pleases God. Instead of going to school so that I can be "good enough" to do God’s work, I take comfort in knowing that God delights in me with or without Bible college… so I should delight in learning. When I feel like I’m doing all the "right things," I shouldn’t get disheartened when someone "less deserving" gets ahead in life, because I’m not doing the "right things" to earn God’s favor.

Do you see where I’m going with this? It’s all about perspective, it’s all about attitude. This new "revelation" that I’m having doesn’t discount what I’ve done in the past for, or should I say, with God. I know in my heart that good things have come out of those endeavours. But I also realize I’m growing and that God is showing me new ways to look at things.

So I have to give thanks to God. After seven years of being at church and over five years in Bible college, I’m starting to get it.