Sometimes in our lives we need to be reminded of where we’ve been so that we can hopefully be able to rejoice in how far we’ve come. For me, this moment came on Saturday as I spent some time photographing St. Luke Catholic Church.
For those of you who don’t know, I went to St. Luke Catholic School from fourth through seventh grade. It was a slightly difficult transition for me because I was a non-Catholic in a Catholic school. I made a great first impression during communion when Mrs. Sullivan held up the wafer and said, "the body of Christ" to which I responded, "thank you" and gladly walked off. Fortunately, Mrs. Sullivan tracked down my teacher after Mass and made sure I didn’t take communion until I’d gone through the classes and had my official first communion.
As time progressed I grew in my faith at St. Luke’s. The religious education director of the church, Mrs. Spitznogle, took the time to talk with me about first communion. When I was ready, I went to my uncle’s parish where he was the priest and had my first communion.
Over the next few years I spent countless hours at the church: children’s choir practice on Tuesday afternoons, Mass at least once a week for school, singing in the choir for Mass on Saturday’s at 5:30 p.m. Not to mention holy days, the Rosary, confession.
I tell you all of this to show you what my spiritual life consisted of at St. Luke’s. If you had asked me back then what I was, I would’ve identified myself as Catholic. If you would’ve asked me about my relationship with God, I would’ve acknowledged that I prayed to him regularly and had a great reverence and was in awe of His holiness.
To this day, I will still go to a Catholic church to pray when I really need alone time with God. There is something about the beauty, sacredness, and holiness of the Catholic church that draws me in.
As I wrapped up photographing the church on Saturday, I took some time to kneel on those all-too-familiar kneeling benches to say a prayer. Then, I just sat there and looked up at the mosaic of Jesus on the cross.
My spiritual journey started at St. Luke’s, but it didn’t end there. As I stared up at that mosaic, I thought about how thirteen years had passed since I last knelt and prayed to God at St. Luke’s. I thought about my parents’ divorce, struggling through years of anxiety disorder, my mom remarrying, two of my brothers getting married, graduating high school, finishing college, making friends, remembering friends who had passed away, the blessings that I’ve had in my life, and the darker times I’ve gone through.
As I sat and stared at that mosaic of Jesus, I wanted to weep. Because during many of those years, I fell away from Him. But I can rejoice because Jesus has brought me back into a personal relationship with Him and I have grown so much in my faith because of it. Spending some time at St. Luke’s on Saturday was definitely a blessing reminding me of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." – Deuteronomy 31:6
"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." – Lamentations 3:22-23
I’ve started taking my little Bible to church with me again. Part of me thinks that some people may see me using my Bible on the iPhone and think that I’m doing something else (like checking Facebook or sending text messages). So I take my little Bible with me and today I opened up my Bible and found this prayer card from my grandfather’s memorial service. On the front is an image of the “Sacred Heart of Jesus” and on the back has the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi, it goes like this:
Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
That’s pretty awesome if you ask me. I’m glad I stumbled across this prayer card. It’s message is a constant reminder to me. I’m also happy to see that Sarah McLaughlin sung this prayer in a song, enjoy!
It’s been hard for me to confess this, but I will. I had been burnt out in my walk with God for the past year.
When I first started going to church, you couldn’t keep me away. I would even sit up front, right next to the pastor. I was so interested in it that I felt called to go into ministry, so I started going to Bible college.
After I broke up with my girlfriend over a year and a half ago, I stopped going to church all the time. I was working at the church five days a week, going to school part-time, and attending my college group on Thursday nights. I had convinced myself that my college group on Thursday nights was “good enough,” but I soon realized I was going there primarily for the friendships and the teaching was secondary (sorry David!).
I was burnt out. I was tired of school and that hatred towards school rolled over into my spiritual life… and it’s extremely sad. After all, shouldn’t going to a Bible college be spiritually fulfilling? Well, I believe it should and I know that it’s not completely the school’s fault. Most of the blame lies with me.
So what have I done to reverse this trend? For one thing, I took a leave of absence from school. I could lie and tell you that this was a hard decision to make, but it was actually one of the easiest. I knew that if I didn’t take time off to take care of myself, that I would sink further into cynicism and farther away from God. In fact, even though I was in a spiritual “funk,” I still spent lots of time on my knees praying to God, crying out to God, searching for direction.
I don’t intend for this time-off to be “lazy time.” I am trying some new things to occupy my time: I’ll be participating in the Carmel Citizen’s Police Academy on Mondays, volunteering at Shepherd Community on Tuesdays, going to college group on Thursdays. I’ll also be reading the Bible and other books, writing, photographing, and traveling more.
Perhaps one of the greatest things that has helped me is attending weekend services. Fortunately, I have found a group of friends who are more than willing to go on Saturday nights with me! I even won Chad over as a Saturday convert when Grace bumped up the Sunday service time from 10:45 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. Apparently fifteen minutes is a big enough gap of time for Chad to swear off going on Sunday and to start attending on Saturday.
The past five weeks have been amazing for me, mostly because of the worship. There were times when I would read the lyrics on the screen and would choke up, unable to sing because the words spoke to me in that moment. This week, it was Hillsong United’s “Mighty to Save.”
As I’ve wrestled with God over this past year, one thing still remains the same, our God is mighty to save. And I thank Him everyday for his unconditional love, patience, mercy, and grace.
I know God is working in me and I’m so thankful that I’m getting out of this spiritual “funk” I’ve been in for the past year. Thank you Lord, thank you for being so faithful!
As I finish this post, I just want to leave with you a video of the song “Mighty to Save” and I hope that it serves as an encouragement to all of you.
“And I am certain that God,who began the good work within you,
will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”
I want to give a shout-out to my friend Erin for sending me a link to this video called, “What if Starbucks Marketed Like the Church?” It’s from a blog called Beyond Relevance and really shows how sometimes we forget that we’re reaching out to un-churched people. It’s not about watering-down your church’s message to be “seeker sensitive,” rather, it’s about creating a welcoming environment where people can feel at-ease and able to ask questions. Enjoy!
On November 1-2, 2008, Grace Community Church closed its doors and sent our people out into the community (Marion and Hamilton County) to do a variety of service projects. Sitting in services this weekend, it was amazing to hear how so many people were changed by going out into the community and serving. It’s our specific hope that they will get involved with our Frontline Ministries and various ministries throughout the community so that we can make a difference for the kingdom of God. To see pictures from the Weekend of Service, visit weekend.gracecc.org. Here’s a video that our video producer Mighty put together.
