Accomplishment of the Week: Hmmm, this week wasn’t very goal-oriented. I cleaned the family room and the bedroom, also ordered new floor mats for the car. Yep, it was such a big week! Ha ha!

Where I’m At With My Weight Loss: I weighed in this morning at 202.7. I won’t get really excited until I’m under 200 pounds. I wish it was nicer out this week, didn’t get a chance to go on the Monon, but went to the neighborhood fitness center for a little cardio.

What I’m Looking Forward To: I normally look forward to the Fourth of July, but it looks like this year is going to be low-key. Most of my friends will be out of town, my Dad is working, and Kreig doesn’t have the kids for this Fourth of July.

I’m thinking about going to the National Museum of the United States Air Force tomorrow in Dayton, OH. I’ll also be working the Carmel Police booth on Saturday night at CarmelFest, so feel free to stop by and say "hi!"

Quote of the Day: “A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.” – Oscar Wilde

And then I realized something, this is where self-control comes in. Even before I started my diet, I’ve had to practice self-control in other areas of my life. As of late I’ve had ask myself, "is there something more productive I could be doing right now? Instead of saying no to this person, could I make time for them? I know this takes effort, but is it really that difficult?"

It’s been a challenge for a person like me who would be content sitting on the couch watching TV or reading a book. I have realized that I’m a lists equals reward person. Which means that in order for me to feel like I’ve accomplished anything, I have to have a written list to look at. It’s like the me from the past saying, "Hey man, do you see all this stuff you said you were going to do? How much of those have you actually done?" At that point, I stick it to my past self and say, "you know what? Maybe I’ll do some of those things… CHECK!"

I’ve come to learn that in life, I need to have some goals to reach. It gives me a reason to wake up each morning, to have something to look forward to, a challenge to accomplish. This is one of the main reasons I created "My To-Do List for 2009." It’s given me a tangible list of goals to work on and I’ve been doing so good so far!

I’ve been feeling really content with myself lately, as I feel that I’ve had these attainable goals to reach for. And as for that chocolate chip cookie from Paradise? I gave it to one of the baristas at Starbucks and grabbed a drink with 1/3 the calories of that cookie.

What to do the rest of the day? Well, work of course. But what about after work? I’m really tempted to just veg out on the couch, but perhaps I’ll go ride on the Monon for the third straight day in a row. Ahh self-control, am I starting to master thee?

Accomplishment of the Week: So many accomplishments this week! Have been doing some major planning for the new Grace web site, have managed to workout almost every day, paid off my furniture… Yep, it’s been a good week.

Where I’m At With My Weight Loss: I have managed to lose five pounds over the past week and a half. I’ve had to really watch my calories and be intentional about working out, but I’m seeing some results. Maybe I’ll see the left-side of 200 soon (first milestone is 190, second milestone is 180).

What I’m Looking Forward To: Still looking forward to Field Day this weekend with my ham radio buddies. I’m also hoping to get some cleaning done around the apartment and getting a chance to relax!

What I’m Thankful For: God’s provision in my life and realizing that with God, nothing is impossible.

My Top 10 Favorite Michael Jackson Songs: Well, since Michael Jackson has passed away, I feel it only appropriate to share my ten favorite songs.

10. Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
9. Jam
8. Rock With You
7. Black or White
6. The Way You Make Me Feel
5. Beat It
4. Bad
3. Billie Jean
2. The Man In the Mirror
1. Thriller

Quote of the Day: "Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.” – David Searls

What I’m Reading: I’ve been slacking in the reading department, but I managed to get some reading done the other night. I’m still reading Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright, Justice That Restores by Chuck Colson, and A Man After God’s Own Heart by Jim George.

Accomplishment of the Week: I officially started my diet a week ago and have managed to lose a few pounds, which is always nice. I’ve been tracking my calories through "The Daily Plate" at LiveStrong.com… it’s very helpful to track what I’m eating so that I don’t over-eat. It’s also really helpful that my apartment complex opened up a little fitness center for us to use.

What I’m Looking Forward To: That’s kind of hard to pinpoint. I guess that I’m excited about Amateur Radio Field Day this weekend. All over the country, amateur radio operators set-up camp sites that include towers and radio equipment trying to contact as many amateur radio operators in a 24-hour period. It’s kind of hard to explain to someone who’s not in the hobby… maybe I’ll take pictures this weekend and give ya’ll a more in-depth look.

Quote of the Day: “You won’t realize the distance you’ve walked until you take a look around and realize how far you’ve been.”

I can be pretty passive about things, yes, it’s true. I’ve been attending Grace Community Church since 2002 and in all the years we’ve done Bag Hunger, I haven’t contributed once. It’s not that I didn’t want to, I’d even take a yellow bag home with me convinced that I’d finally get around to donating food! But alas, my procrastination got the better of me.

That changed when I started to volunteer at Shepherd Community Center on Tuesday nights. As part of our volunteer orientation, I was given a tour of the facility and was shown where all the donated food was stored. More importantly, when I started working with the kids, I realized that the food we were collecting at Grace was going to help feed those kids.

It’s sad to think that 8 out of 10 kids on the eastside of Indianapolis will get two meals a day when they’re in school, instead of the recommended three meals per day. Who knows if they’re provided with two meals a day during the summer, which is why our Bag Hunger program at Grace has begun stirring my heart. And you know what? It wasn’t as expensive as I thought! I worked at Marsh for over eight years and was familiar with the foods that parents bought with WIC vouchers (Women, Infants, and Children) and food stamps, so my shopping trip was pretty easy.

And the cost? I was able to fill one of our yellow bags for under $15… especially when buying generic. Furthermore, I considered it not as charity, but as part of my offering. To those of you who attend Grace, I can’t emphasize enough that Shepherd Community is one of our awesome partners in what God is doing. And if you’re able to, consider taking a yellow bag with you when you go grocery shopping. It’s a great way to remind you that there are people out there who could use our help in feeding their families and it will only take a little bit of effort on your part.

If you don’t go to Grace, you can still participate! Just stop by during the week (or during weekend services) and pick up a yellow bag by the main entrances, fill it up with food, and drop it off at the collection containers near the main entrances. It’s a great way to contribute to the community. For more information about Bag Hunger, visit http://gracecc.org/baghunger.

I have to give props to my neighbor across the street, I really do. Most people say that "first impressions are very important" and I’d have to agree. When I first moved in, I noticed at least three police cars in front of his building. He was sitting on the stoop in handcuffs and the cops had made a make-shift diaper for him because he was so piss drunk that the officer didn’t want the guy "relieving" himself in the squad car.

I have a police scanner and it didn’t surprise me that the next time I heard "domestic" and "Lark Drive," I knew they were coming for him. I don’t know his background, don’t know anything about him really. All I know is that he lives with a woman who has a special needs child… whether they’re married or not, or whether the child is his son or not, I don’t know.

But in my mind I always wondered, "how many times is she going to take him back? How many times is he going to put up with his non-sense?" I’ve seen this many times in my life, knowing people who get locked up, are released later, and end up right back in jail within a few months. In fact, I’ve wondered when the next time the police will show up to take him away.

But, I was truly humbled today as I saw him walk across my front lawn over to his building, carrying a bouquet of wildflowers that he had picked from the park next-door. He knocked on the bedroom window, wanting her to open up the blinds and be surprised… no answer. Then he went inside, and I can only hope that the woman he’s wronged over and over again would be truly appreciative of this small, kind act.

There are a few morals to this story. The first? Don’t be so quick to judge. Sometimes we make judgments based upon outer appearances without knowing that person’s heart, their struggles, and where they’ve been. If you know where someone’s been, what they’ve struggled with, you may be more empathetic to the person, even if you still think that what they’ve done is wrong.

Second moral? We must learn to forgive. When I said that the police get called out for "domestic situations," that doesn’t necessarily mean physical abuse… it could be a verbal disagreement that has gotten out of hand. Sometimes one of the most humbling acts for someone is to be forgiven. When I see this lady take him back over and over again, I think to myself, "she is a very forgiving woman and I hope some good comes of it." Perhaps today’s show of appreciation by picking flowers for her is an outward sign to say, "I love you and thank you so much for your grace and mercy."

This reminded me of a Bible story today from Matthew 18:21-35:

“Then Peter came to Jesus. ‘Lord, if my brother keeps on hurting me, how many times should I forgive him?’ he asked. ‘Should I forgive him seven times?’

 ‘No, not just seven times, but forgive him seventy times seven times’, Jesus said.

 ‘Where God rules is like a king. The king wanted to collect all the money that his servants owed him. So he began to do this. Then they brought a man to him who owed him millions of silver coins. The man was not able to pay. So the master ordered them to sell the man, his wife, his children and all his possessions. The master would receive that money to pay the servant’s debt. Then the servant kneeled in front of the king. “Be patient with me”, he said. “I will pay back everything that I owe you.” And the master pitied him. So he forgave the servant for all that he owed. And he let the servant leave free.

That servant went out then. But he found one of the other servants who owed him just a few silver coins. The first servant held the second servant firmly. He began to squeeze the second servant’s neck. “Pay back what you owe me!” he demanded.

The second servant kneeled down in front of him. “Be patient with me and I will pay you back”, he said.

But the first servant refused. Instead, he caused the authorities to throw the other servant into prison. And he had to stay there until he could pay back the debt. The rest of the servants saw what had happened. And they were very upset about it. So they told their master everything that had happened.

Then the master called the first servant to come back to him. “You wicked servant”, he said, “I forgave all your debt to me because you asked me to. You should have pitied the other servant, just as I pitied you!” His master was very angry. So he handed the servant over to the prison officers for punishment. He must stay in prison until he paid everything back to his master.

You must forgive your brothers. My Father who is in heaven will act like this king towards each of you. So you must forgive them from deep inside yourselves.’”

Sometimes we must forgive others, even when it seems so very difficult to do so. This act of hearing someone say, "I forgive you" can truly be a chain-breaking, breath of fresh air for someone who has carried the guilt and burden for so long.

I originally intended for this post to be more about doing small little things to show someone you care… and I hope you can take that away from the story of my neighbor. But the overarching thing I’ve learned is about how we can empower someone to change through the power of forgiveness.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." — Marianne Williamson

Accomplishment of the Weekend: Was super excited to drive up to Woodburn, IN (outside of Fort Wayne) to see my ultimate BFF Ryan. We got caught up, talked about radios (we’re nerds), and went out back to shoot his new-ish Glock 9mm. It was a really good time!

What I’m Looking Forward To: This is difficult… I’m looking forward to the continual challenge as we work to overhaul the current Grace Web site. It’s been tough, but we’re getting there. Hoping to relax a little this weekend (yes, I’m already looking at the weekend).

Quote of the Day: “Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’ve had many transformations in my life that has made me who I am today. For the sake of this post, I don’t think I’ll tell you about those transformations (maybe another time).  But as I’ve grown over the past 25 years of my life, I’ve realized some immeasurable things.

First, I’ve learned not to regret the past. Unfortunately there are many people who either live in their past or regret their past. For me, I may regret some things about my past, things I could’ve done differently. But the key is how one handles that regret. Does that person sit and stew about it? Do they try to relive it in their mind, wondering, “what if?”

I’ve learned to take a different approach. When I look back on regrets, I pick it apart: What could I have done differently? Is there anything I can change about that regret? If it’s too late to turn that regret around, what can I learn differently for the future?

There are even some regrets that can still be changed: broken relationships, missed opportunities, to name a few. For example, I deeply regret that I didn’t travel very much, if at all, during high school and most of college. I can change that now. And for those regrets that you can’t change? In some ways, I think we carry those around as scars to remind us of our shortfalls and give us fuel for change to make sure we don’t make that same regret again.

Second thing I’ve learned? Find good people to learn from, but don’t try and become them. This is often a mistake many people make.  Someone once said, “You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.” There are certain traits that make each person unique, it’s not worth it to lose your identity to try and be someone else. Glean the good characteristics of that person you wish to learn from and make those characteristics uniquely your own, don’t just copy them.

Third, don’t let yourself be easily molded. Throughout my life, I’ve had people try and mold me into who they think I should be. This became especially true when I became a pastoral ministry student. People would say, “you can’t do that, you’re going to be a pastor” or “this is how pastors have done things for many years, therefore, this is how you should do it.”

Everyone brings a different style to their job. When I decided that I wanted to be a police chaplain, I was told that, “you’re not going to save the police department.” And to an extent, I agree. But change begins with one person who dares to see things differently and takes a different approach. Mahatma Ghandi once said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” In order for change to occur, things have to be done differently, that’s what change is! So if I have one chaplain telling me, “this won’t work,” what I’m really hearing is, “my style of leadership can’t accommodate that change.”

I bring up the previous example because it reminds me of starry-eyed dreamers who have EXCELLENT ideas, only to go into the workforce and quickly conform to the way things are, not the way things can be. In an effort to appease their bosses, they become “yes men.”

I’ve struggled with this over the past several years; not wanting to conform, but to continue to be a valued employee and person. And for those of you who have bosses who allow you to be you? You are blessed, because hopefully that boss recognizes the different personality traits that allow you to be you and allow you to shine. I know we have a lot of great people here at Grace and I believe that’s because we encourage a culture of being ourselves.

To sum things up, I guess what I’ve been trying to say for the past several paragraphs is this: where is the line between staying true to yourself and making those changes to appease others?

At some level, I know there are things that make me “uniquely Kiel” and I don’t want to change those things for the world. At the same time, I realize that I’m not perfect and there’s a need for me to make changes. I guess I can sum it up with two quotes.

The first one says, “The hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle to be just you.” The next quote is by Dr. Seuss, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

They both make very valid points. You’re going to have to fight to be “just you” and Dr. Seuss is essentially saying that those who get bothered by who you are don’t matter… and those who love you won’t mind that you’re being yourself.

So in closing, I have to ask you… “this is your life, are you who you want to be?” Take inventory of the things that make you uniquely you and say, “these are areas that I feel make me who I am and I won’t compromise.” And then keep moving forward into the future, allowing yourself to grow, not change who you are.

“Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.” – Mr. Fred Rogers

Accomplishment of the Day: Got up to help Jake’s parents load the moving truck to find that they had already done it. So I drove down to Bloomington and helped unload. Came back up to Indianapolis and did laundry, washed the car, cleaned the inside… yup, it was a good day.

Discovery of the Day: The cops were really active today along IN-37 from Martinsville all they way up through Indianapolis… they must’ve gotten bored and decided to do traffic detail.

What I’m Looking Forward To: Hmmm, that’s a tough one. Haven’t even made plans for this week. Just looking forward to going into work and getting lots done in moving forward on the new web site.

Picture of the Day: I found out that animals love each other… it doesn’t matter if you’re a bird or a little gerbil. LOL.

Quote of the Day: “Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”