Do you ever have those moments when it seems like the world stops and you wish you could go back in time? Well, I’m having one of those days.
We said goodbye to my Great Aunt Rose today, she finally passed away at the age of 88. Although if she were able to have her say, she’d say, "you can’t bury me today, it’s too damn cold outside!" That was her in a nutshell, very particular and very feisty.
The funeral was one of the shortest I’ve been to, we pulled up to the cemetery around 10:30 a.m. Some snow had fallen overnight and it was 22 degrees out. The hospice chaplain talked about his brief encounter with Rose, he read Psalm 23, and we were done. It took no longer than 5-10 minutes, just the way Rose would’ve wanted it. Afterwards the family went to Bob Evan’s where we had lunch and talked… I think she would’ve enjoyed that.
After spending some time at GrandDad’s house, I decided to head back home. The cemetery was on the drive back so I stopped by her grave. Freshly turned dirt was placed over where her casket lay six feet under, with flowers on top. And as I stood there, I just looked at the mound of dirt and thought to myself, "where has the time gone? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was at Grandma and GrandDad’s being told, ‘get out of Aunt Rosie’s chair so she can sit down!’"
That memory resounds in my mind as I sit here and watch old family videos. Yup… there’s Micah sitting in Aunt Rosie’s chair. "You want to sit with me?" she asks Micah. And as she tries to sit down, she realizes it can’t be done and Micah moves. A few minutes later in the tape she takes a plastic bag and starts folding it when Eric and I grab the other end and try to pull it from her. Aunt Rose lets us win for a couple seconds and just yanks it, sending Eric to the ground and leaving me laughing watching this event unfold twenty-one years later.
She loved us very much. In recent years I would go over to her house after family gatherings and just sit there and talk with her. I loved it because I got to see a side of Aunt Rose that I never saw growing up. I learned more about her, her side of the family, and she even told me stories about my GrandDad when they were growing up.
She was so proud of her son, Ronnie. She was proud of her grandson Rick for becoming an officer in the Navy. She would BEAM with pride talking about one of her great-grandkids CJ who did exceptionally well in school (even with long hair). I laugh because she always used to tell me, "you know what? If having long hair is the worst thing he does I’m fine with it, because he’s a good kid."
I remember her telling me a story of my GrandDad when he was really little. Apparently my GrandDad used to swear a lot when he was younger and on his birthday, the cake (or something near the cake) caught fire. My GrandDad, being two or three at the time screams out, "JESUS CHRIST, THE CAKE’S ON FIRE!" Just the thought of it now makes me laugh. And just so you know, my GrandDad stopped swearing after being in the service, so you don’t have to worry about him using the Lord’s name in vain.
If you had ever visited Rosie at her house, she’d have you sit down in the kitchen while she sat there and talked while smoking a cigarette. In the later years she traded in her cigarettes and ashtray for oxygen. But other than that, not much changed. We’d come in and she’d share the letters and pictures from my Great Uncle Bill (who lives in California), her son Ronnie (who lives in Florida), and the great-grandkids (who live with Ronnie down in Florida as well).
Every year on the Fourth of July we’d go to Rosie’s house because she was a couple blocks away from the parade route. It was also within walking distance of the park, which was perfect for us kids who got restless and wanted to get away. Every year she’d move her car out of the garage and set-up tables with food on it and then we’d take shelter under the big tree in the front yard.
I’m thankful that I got to see her when she was in the hospital. In fact, my last memories of her are from that time. My first visit was when she was first admitted to the ICU. She wasn’t happy about it, but knew it was necessary. I sat there talking to her, trying to listen as best I could, even with her oxygen mask on. She loved to walk around, but we kept trying to tell her that we couldn’t move her because of all the stuff she was hooked up to. She was still feisty, "wait until Ronnie gets here, he’ll straighten things out."
My last memory of her was two weeks ago. They had moved her out of ICU and was getting ready to transport her to the nursing home. When I walked in, she was sleeping and the TV was on. I didn’t want to disturb her, I just wanted to be in her presence. So I walked over and sat in the chair and just read my book. Occasionally I’d look over, pray for her, and watch her sleep, realizing it may be one of the last times I’d see her.
Many people have told me, "sorry for your loss," and I greatly appreciate the sympathy and prayers. But I know that Rose wouldn’t have wanted such a big fuss made on her behalf. She lived a good, long eighty-eight years on this earth and if she needed to have bags packed for this journey to the next life, she would’ve had those bags packed years ago.
As I sit here watching these old family videos, I wish I could go back in time and relive those moments I’ve had with her, but I can’t. All I can do is sit here and enjoy watching what we’ve captured of her life and be thankful for all the years spent with her.
What I’m Listening To: "Two Is Better Than One" by Boys Like Girls (ft. Taylor Swift)
What I’m Watching: Our high school ministry’s worship band created a hilarious lip-sync video to Miley Cyrus’ "Party in the USA."
What I’m Reading:The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. I’m reading this book for my senior seminar class. I want to give Dawkins a fair shake, but his writing is fairly polemic. He sets up a stereotype of Christians and knocks those stereotypes out of the park (strawman arguments). If he’s ever going to be taken seriously by anyone other than staunch atheists, he’s going to have to get rid of the polemic writing style… it also doesn’t help that he comes across as a complete and pompous ass. Now don’t get me wrong, there are Christians that comes across as asses too, and we don’t like to listen to them either. So I’m still reading and hoping his arguments get stronger.
Highlight of the Past Week: Valentine’s Day with my best of friends. Chad and Andrew turned their house into a ghetto putt-putt course, I cooked dinner for the guys and gals, and we all watched a movie. We gave the girls flowers, they gave each of us a plate of cookies. Overall, not too shabby of a day!
What I’m Looking Forward To This Next Week: I’m just trying to make it through this week.
Quote of the Day: "I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare." – C.S. Lewis
NOTE: This post may seem rather long, but it really serves as a way for me to process what I’ve been thinking all this week. Maybe you’ll learn a little more about Brittany and a little more about me in the process. In a strange way, as I read over it, that’s a great way to look at it. There are people who come into our lives who make an impact in who we are, Brittany and her family played a part in mine.
I lost an old friend this week, some of you may have heard me talk about Brittany. I met Brittany when she was 14 and I was 15. It’s amazing that ten years have gone by since we’ve worked together and with each passing day, my memory starts to fade in that time of my life. But isn’t it amazing that when you really work your mind, those memories start creeping back?
As you’ve probably read in one of my older posts, Donatos was my first "real" job (you can read that post here). For some reason, I had my heart set on working at Target across the street. But Tonya, the assistant manager at Donatos, had something about her that just made me want to work at Donatos.
I have a firm belief that God works in all things. Perhaps He had a reason for me to work at Donatos and not Target. The crazy thing is that in each stage of my life, there have been people in my life who have made a significant difference and were always there when I needed them. I am so thankful that God brought me to that first job, we were family, and I LOVED it.
I told Brittany’s mom, Kathy, that I had some fun memories of Brittany and I, but that biggest thing that stood out was how well she loved me. Since Brittany and I were the youngest on the crew, we almost always worked together. Sometimes we would both work the front counter together, sometimes she’d work the front while I worked the drive-thru, other times we would clean the dining room together, or just hang out in the party room folding pizza boxes.
Some of my most favorite memories are the times when it was slow and we’d go out back, she’d smoke a cigarette and we would just sit there and talk. It was like a family affair at Donatos because Brittany, her mom, brother, and sister-in-law all worked there and they made me feel like I was part of the family.
I remember the early morning staff meetings where we’d meet in the party room, watch training videos, and Britt would sit on my lap as we’d watch them. I remember the slow times where we would talk about anything and everything while cleaning the dining room. I remember how excited she’d get about her little niece. I remember how much she hated anchovies, and after making a pizza with anchovies, I’d wipe the slime off on her shirt (yes, I was such a gentleman back then). I remember working on Christmas Eve and I brought in my CD player and she’d sing along. I’d remember us running over to Wendy’s to do a food-swap with the employees and bringing back our dinner and sitting back in the prep room with the staff hanging out. I remember the times we had to come in early and remove the conveyor belt from the oven and clean it. I remember the times she’d have me grab something from the walk-in refrigerator and lock me in.
But the biggest memory of my time at Donatos came at a painful time in my life. It was a beautiful day, I even think it was the last day of school. My mom had picked me up from school and as we sat at the stoplight in front of North Central she said, "Kiel, I’m moving to Florida." Okay…. "When?" I asked. "Tomorrow."
I tried to stay strong for my mom, but as soon as we got home, I walked on the Monon Trail straight to Donatos. I walked in the front door, through the kitchen, out the back door and just started crying my eyes out. I walked back in, found Brittany’s mom, Kathy, and just started crying in her arms. Brittany was there to console me too.
That summer was one of difficulty, but one where I felt loved. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had developed an anxiety/panic attack disorder. There would be moments when I’d feel a rush fly over my body and I’d feel the need to go throw-up in the bathroom. I had originally thought it was an allergic reaction to the ingredients and I decided that it was time for me to move on from Donatos.
After moving across the street to Marsh, I slowly began to lose touch with Brittany and Kathy. They’d occasionally come by the store to shop and I’d occasionally go to Donatos to see them. But you know how life is, we drifted apart. At first I wouldn’t see them for weeks, then months, and then years… ten years in fact.
Over the past few years I had been trying to reconnect with Brittany, looking for her on MySpace and Facebook. She never really was into those type of things, but I had a hope that someday she might want to reconnect with old friends and create a profile.
About a week-and-a-half ago I finally found her on MySpace. She hadn’t logged on in a while, but I thought if I sent her a message through the system, that they would notify her through e-mail. I thought to myself, "Hey God, maybe this is a great chance to reconnect and be a part of each other’s lives again!"
But I was disheartened on Wednesday when I logged into MySpace to see that she still hadn’t read my message. I had moved on to my other tasks of the day and eventually made my way to the obituaries on The Indianapolis Star web site. As my eyes scrolled through the names, one stood out… it was hers.
I was in disbelief, shock. I read through the obituary time and again, but there was her mother’s name, and her brother’s name. My friend, who I really wanted to see, had passed away that Sunday.
It was a little difficult for me to walk into the funeral home and see her mom, who had been like a mother to me when I worked at Donatos. But when our eyes met, we immediately recognized each other and I embraced her in an all-familiar hug. It turns out that all these years that we’ve been apart, we’ve been wondering about each other. Brittany had been wondering what I had been up to, as did Kathy. Even in the hustle and bustle of the past 10 years, I had still wondered about them.
I’m going to miss my friend Brittany and I continue to pray for her mother, Kathy. As I sat through the funeral they read 1 Corinthians 13. One word that stuck out to me during the whole funeral was the word "love." Brittany had shown me love, Kathy had shown me love, and I hope that my presence there let Kathy know that I love her very much. She has a special place in my heart.
I say all that to say this, never stop loving people. I know I talked a little bit about myself in this post, but that’s because in the midst of what I was going through, Brittany and her mother were loving me through it all. If you’re a Christian, you are commanded to love others, even more so than you are to love yourself. If you’re not a Christian, loving someone could make a tremendous impact on someone else’s life. They may not remember a whole lot about you in the years that pass, but they will remember how well you loved.
So with that, I am so thankful for the love that Brittany has shown me and I hope that Kathy knows that I will be there when she needs me… just like she was there when I needed her. I thank God for allowing Brittany to be a part of my life.
As the dust began to settle, we began seeing the results. The blog we set-up received thousands of hits that day, our church web site received 15x the normal amount of traffic, the free e-mail account we set-up with Gmail was filled with thousands of e-mails and actually locked up because over twelve of us were in there trying to process all of them!
It was a hectic day, but it did show us just how many people cared. Some were willing to give temporary homes, some were wanting to adopt, others were wanting to offer donations of clothing and other items. It amazed me the generosity of our people and their friends who received a forwarded copy of the e-mail (or heard about it on Facebook or Twitter).
Now it is indefinite as to when the Haitian orphans will arrive (if at all, although we are seeing some released little by little), but the work doesn’t stop there. Our friends at Safe Families have been busy going through all the e-mails we received, lining up qualified applicants should the need arise for temporary housing or adoption, they’re amazing.
Can I tell you something else amazing that happened? Last weekend our pastor scrapped his sermon and focused purely on Haiti. Here’s a video of him interviewing his son Barry and Curtis from our Outreach team as they talk about their recent experience in Haiti…
Dave talked about the realities of what’s going on Haiti, how we’re going to have to continue to support Haiti long after the media stops covering it, because the effect of that earthquake will be felt for years. And one of the biggest things he did was bring a challenge to the congregation to raise money for Haiti.
The money we raised is to be distributed to two of our partners, Nehemiah Vision Ministries and Kids Against Hunger. One of the challenges Dave gave was that if we raised $40,000, Kids Against Hunger would set-up a food-packing operation in our gym. This would mean putting together food packages that would help feed a family of six (or even just six people) for an entire day and provide all the essential nutrients.
We got calls throughout the week, "did we reach our goal of $40,000?" Little do people know Dave. Our goal was never to raise $40,000, we only wanted people to know what we would be able to do through their generosity.
The final total collected to help Haiti? I believe it was over $220,000.
We don’t throw that number around to brag. Considering all the work that has to be done in the aftermath of this earthquake, that is only a start. And the food-packing that we’re doing for Kids Against Hunger? All 400 volunteer slots were filled within an hour of being available to sign-up and these volunteers will be packing over 200,000 packages of food. The response was so great that we’re trying to coordinate more times for Kids Against Hunger to come to Grace so we can pack more food.
Last week, considering how much work we put into it and our hopes being dashed at not receiving orphans, I was greatly encouraged by our church’s response. And I’m not talking about the response from Dave, I’m talking about from the people who we asked to "step up" and put "Plan A" into action. It is my personal hope, as someone who’s about to graduate with a degree in Pastoral Ministry, that last week stirred the hearts of our congregation. That they would not only remember Haiti, but think about the issues of social justice all over the world and do something about it!
When we first got the call about the orphans, those of us who were there at the onslaught of news knew that God was definitely up to something. Only time will tell what effect the Church’s response (the entire body of Christ, not just Grace) has on Haiti. In the meantime, I know that some people had their heart stirred by the efforts of Safe Families and have offered to open up their homes to kids who need temporary homes. This past week has truly shown me that when we’re open to the Holy Spirit, He’s going to work through God’s people. And Grace Community Church really stepped up to the plate, along with various churches around the world.
When I worshipped this weekend, I looked around at all the faces in the auditorium, filled with an immense pride to be able to serve and serve alongside the wonderful families of Grace.
"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
Many of you are well aware of what’s happened in Haiti, almost two weeks ago, an earthquake shook the country to it’s core. I don’t know the exact number of the dead, but I read a story that they buried over 150,000 just the other day. It seems like for most of us, we didn’t pay much attention to Haiti prior to this, I was one of those.
Yet the effect of this earthquake really hit home last Tuesday. I had finished my night class and walked into my friend’s house, to see all of my friends on their phones calling various people. I was confused.
"Hello, this is Stephanie calling from Safe Families, we kind of have a unique situation here…"
As I got up-to-speed, I found out that the Department of Child Services (DCS) had contacted Safe Families’ regional office in Chicago asking them to prepare for 300 Haitian orphans who could be arriving in the next couple of days. I was immediately recruited to start calling people, so I looked through the database and called people I knew.
I can tell you that what we were asking was not an easy thing to ask. Take in a child coming off a plane with little more than their sandals and underwear, many infested with lice and ringworm, only speaking Creole? What fascinated me in that moment were the answers I received, "yes, we’ll take them!" As we finished going through the whole database of people, I had to step out on the back porch to grasp the reality of what was really happening. It struck home that these are children, God’s children, who had lost their families and were looking to be transported to a country they knew nothing about. I could only weep for them (I’m an emotional dude, it happens) and I was reminded of my prayer earlier in the week, "break my heart for what breaks yours," yup, my heart was broken for these kids.
Since our church partners with Safe Families, they had asked us what we could do to assist. Our pastor, Dave Rodriguez, decided to send out an e-mail to our Grace family to let them know of the need… little did we know what this would bring. I came into work with Safe Families and our Outreach team setting up a "command post" in the conference room we affectionately call the "War Room." My friend Steph had gotten two hours of sleep and hadn’t eaten all morning, we had three people answering phones, and e-mails were coming into the e-mail address we set-up at over eight e-mails per minute.
By mid-afternoon, the DCS had denied any such report that any orphans were on their way to Indiana, even though we had written proof. It was a whirlwind day of emotions: we were tired, emotionally exhausted, hearts were broken. But the story doesn’t end there…
Do you ever have those moments when it seems like the world stops and you wish you could go back in time? Well, I’m having one of those days.
I lost an old friend this week, some of you may have heard me talk about Brittany. I met Brittany when she was 14 and I was 15. It’s amazing that ten years have gone by since we’ve worked together and with each passing day, my memory starts to fade in that time of my life. But isn’t it amazing that when you really work your mind, those memories start creeping back?