Today I was walking around the building, making my rounds and touching-base with my co-workers when my phone beeped. Typically when this happens, I pull it out, take a quick glance at the e-mail message and put it away. But this time was different, I pulled out the phone and the message had the words “Sad News for Our Community” in the subject line. Even then, I didn’t suspect anything was wrong, so I casually glanced over the e-mail until I read a line that stopped me in my tracks, “. . . . decided to take his own life on Friday night.”
Did I read that correctly? I sat down and read through the entire message. On Friday night, one of our group members from church took his own life. Sometimes I think things like this shock us because we almost assume that we’re going to see that person tomorrow, or the next week. And then it hits, “that person is no longer around.”
For some of us, we’re left wishing that we would’ve done something different… maybe we would’ve reached out more or noticed the signs. I noticed that he was acting differently when I saw him on Thursday, I regret that I didn’t say anything about his change in behavior. And then I wonder, would that have made a difference? The truth is, we’ll never know. And in my opinion, dwelling on those things won’t bring bring that person back.
Well, I don’t really know what else to say. I’ve walked alongside several people who have lost someone to suicide and rarely does it get any easier. My thoughts and prayers are with his family tonight.
So I was talking with a friend today about my choice to become a police chaplain and began to describe how statistically, holidays are a time when police departments can expect to receive calls regarding suicide.
I never really thought about it much, I mean after all, who likes thinking about suicide? But what really hit me was the reason WHY the holidays are a time when suicides come up. I can imagine someone who has nobody in this world sitting there on Thanksgiving on Christmas Day thinking about everyone else in the world who has someone to be with, or a family to go home to. It’s really hard to comprehend unless you’ve actually been in that situation. I’ve never been in that situation, but I have suffered from bouts of depression and have a taste of what it’s like to feel that way.
And I think that the reason why people get depressed around the holidays is because we are wired with a need to be loved… we’re human! And for some, they were never given the chance to have a normal family life, or to understand what it’s like to truly be loved. I’m sure there are people in your life who are lonely, yet you may not know it because we’re so busy in our lives today that it’s often hard for us to keep track of the lives of others. It’s nobody’s fault, things come up, we get distracted.
So I would challenge you to take time for those who are lonely. For some, it may be including someone in a group activity. For others, it may be delivering Meals on Wheels to the elderly. Some people do these deeds to feel better about themselves, but I hope that if you try it, that you do it to open your eyes to the loneliness that is in this world. It’s not a ploy to ruin your Christmas joy, but hopefully to compel you to want to make a change in this world.
Well, that’s my rant for now. Stay tuned this month as I talk about my favorite Christmas music among other things!